TMNT

If all men in the world were to be classified to 4 types according to the teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles... then..............

Michelangelo... the joker, the little annoying pestering thing, the "The Flash" would be a perfect little brother or friend. He would be the kind of guy that is just so fun to be around, though at times it can be painful.

Donatello... the adorable geek, the beta male, the "Spiderman" he would be a great big brother or friend. with all his intelligence in IT and science and etc... it would make any girl happy to have him around the house. whatever the reason.

Raphael... Ahhhhh my bad boy rebel/ganster, my "Anakin Skywalker", who struggls to cope with his inner rebel, yet has that tender side to him too. it would be a bonus to be able to break into him then leave him. makes you feel especially special. This would be the type of guy girls would probably wanna have a fling with then leave him helpless and her feeling special.

and lastly.. Leonardo AHHHHHHHHHHHH, the alpha male, my "Superman", the husband material all rounder. sure he's a little up-tight but that's what makes him the mature, sensible one who not only has witts, also has a heart and a brain (not that th others dont but this one is a sure winner) and you guessed it, he would be the one girls wanna marry.

haha, girls dont you agress?

hmm.. just to make sure i'm quite right about their characters, let's see what my best friend, answers.com has to say though..

• Leonardo - The de facto leader of the Turtles, Leonardo is courageous, decisive, and a devoted student of martial arts. As a strict adherent to Bushido, he has a very strong sense of honor and justice. He wears a blue mask and wields a pair of katanas. He is named after Leonardo da Vinci
• Raphael - The team "anti-hero", Raphael has an aggressive nature and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch. His personality can be alternately fierce, sarcastic, and full of angst. He wears a red mask and wields a pair of sai. He is named after Raphael Santi.
• Michelangelo - The easy-going and free-spirited Michelangelo provides much of the comic relief. While he loves to read comics and eat pizza, this Turtle also has an adventurous side. He wears an orange mask and wields a pair of nunchaku. He is named after Michelangelo Buonarroti.
• Donatello - The brilliant scientist, inventor, and technology geek, Donatello has a reputation as something of a smart aleck. He is perhaps the least violent Turtle, preferring to use his intellect to solve conflicts. He wears a purple mask and wields the bō. He is named after Donato di Niccolò di Betto Bardi.

yeah, i did just watch TMNT. unexpectedly good show. so go watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one thing i found very strange was why this ninja called karai had this realli wierd, almost ugly china accent. then i looked it up on my best fren (aka answers.com) and realised it was zhang zhiyi.. no fucking wonder..

lousy pay

i just had a lecture a few days ago about how much an average vet would earn after they graduated..

whao lau.. fucking patheticcccccccccccccccccc

40,000 without taxes?? ELLO??? i worked non-stop for 5 years at uni witjh all my social life and fun life cut out of my life and get this pay???

i feel like my future is damn bleakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

i dont care. by hook or by crook i will make it richhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to feed my hungry lavish lifestyle that i've always dreamed off.

maybe working for my father will even earn me more money then this even though tit is in RM...

i hate it when i get woken up during my sleep,

i hate it even more when i get woken up twice during my sleep.

i hate it when my fren never ansers my call or my sms,

i hate it when my frens doesnt answer to my msg on msn,

i hate it even more when they are uncontactable and yet it's so urgent.

i hate it when my frens talk about their bfs,

i hate it when all my frens do is bf talk,

i hate it even more when all they do is talk about and talk to theri bfs.

i hate it when i get ditched my frens,

i hate it even more when i get ditched my frens becoz of bfs.

i hate it even more so when i get ditched my frens oc zof bfs even though we've already planned for stuff.

but luckily..

i like it when i see neko and my car and some good frens.

i like it when i call my parents.

you're right mummy, if i dont need it, then i shouldnt feel that way and hence in that sense, i am above.

puke

today was the firts time the smell was soooooooooooooooooo bad in the PM room that i had to run out of the door. at first i stumbled to and fro at the exit door coz i didn't knwo if i could walk out with my bloody apron on at the same time i didn't know where to out it if i took it off. then after about 30 seconds of pacing, i smelt that horrible smell againa, nearly puked, and i removed my apron, threw it on a clean table and bolted out the door to the toilet.

my horse was okie.. bad but not puke provoking. it was when the gp next to us opened up the rumen that that sour, fould smelling vomit and shit like smell came up my nose. i turned to see this greenish gritty stuff flowing out of the stomach onto the floor. then.. ahhhhhhh i just had to get out of there.

i'm ruling out pathology as being my speciality from now on..

sometimes i felt that if i disappeared, no one would notice.

big bum

i have a enormous ass. or in words of ness, a bhuge one. i'm serious. at first i thought it was the green room mirror. then i realised that my ass looked just as big if not bigger in dance studio.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh recently ive been feeling damn fucking fat! it's not true i know coz i am 1 kg lighter than the last 2 years. i am 54 now, not 55 (slight yeah). maybe it's all the skinny people that are in the dance floor. i feel enormously humongous. my arms, my legs, my BUM! even my boobs are too big!

"but it's nice" "but.. you're sexy" "but guys like that" "why you girls like to be skinny? we like bit of meat"

NONSENSE!

that is what they SAY. but not what they LIKE FOR REAL.

then again, why the heck am i bothered about what they think? i shouldn't bother! but i am vain and it bothers me that i dont look good to ppl and myself!

when i wear skinny jeans it totally pops out so horribly!!!!! so i can;t wear skinny jean. aiyah my bdy is just wierd. i have smaller waist but twice as big legs as most of my frens!

fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat.........................................................

sigh.. recently i've been having these "crashes". it's the kind of mood swing when suddenly i feel damn damn down. it happens when i suddenly realise something. like suddenly i'm the onli single girl, suddenly i have the lowest score, suddenly i am too old for this, suddenly i am left out, suddenly i'm ugly, suddenly i'm fat, suddenly i'm alone.

it usually occurs after a zenith of happiness/highness.

whenever i get that, my first instinct is to run and get myself out of there. but mroe often than not i dont coz i know i can't. i can't get out of the studio or class halfway just to go the the toilet and brood over it. i can't stop driving halfway in the highway. i can't not go out when agreeded.

so i wait till this crash goes off then things get back to normal.

it's bad.. i feel terrible whenever that happens. i hope it doens;t happen so often anymore

why we are different

Neko is in heat. her constant meowing ans cooing like a pathetic little pigeon is dman annoying. not to mention she sticks her butt in my face 24-7.

i just have to get her desexed asap... ahhh but there are so many things to do! i have sch all day thru out weekdays, how do i find the time to bring her to the vet??? i did think of my sch.. but like.. they close the slinic at 5 also... WTF.......

nvm, i cna always do it int he weekends.. it'll just eat a little of my time away.

i find it sooooooo hard to accept the fact that my baby is all grown up and "wants to get laid" now. i think it's becoz she wants to get laid with anyone she sees. she sticks her butt at me and at ni and it's like.. "ELLO!!! we're your mums and we are female!!" (then again in the human world this would nto matter hahah)

she's so desperate to get mated that she doesn't eat and calls nearly all day. she doesn;t run or bite me or scratch me when i make fun of her. neither does she want to drink her favourite milk, whiskas!!!! it's like.. not neko at all!

her agressively sexual behaviour got me thinking about the needs of all mammals.. (1) food and water(2) air (3) sleep (4) sex.

you see, unlike other animals, humans can control their 4th urge. that's why rapists are often described as animals. and that;s why some people like to call their partners animals too i think..

or can we? is that 4th urge simply suppressed by cultures and traditions and society's view of what is right and wrong? are we just hiding it from other people? i mean, tvs and movies and books with pornography are all other the place! perhaps even simply being vain (with how you look) is a form of the 4th urge.

maybe we are not so different after all.

never again this late

this is going to be the last time i am so unprepared for a test. it cannot happen anymore, i am in 3rd year.

then again, i dont think i was slacking.. i didn't start early coz i was studying other things, not coz i procrastinated.. so next time i shoudl study smarted and earlier and evenly and not cramp like this. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now i'm tired and yet i cannot sleep coz i haven't finsihed.. wtffffffffffffffffffffffff

no more excuses next time

anyway, today i had to do a post-mortem for this poor little kitty less thna 1 year old. whao lao.. it is the smelliest thing i have ever smelt. the smell is still in my nose and as i was eating dinner, i thought i smelled that awwful smell, btu it was the mushrooms. it happened again when i ate bananas. but not when i was eating chocolate icecream.

ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

why?

oh no.. why didnt i start eariler?? i'm so going to fail thsi test and i'll hate myself for it...

and for the first time in my life i feel that i want to go on a holiday.

pi day! yah!!

OMG.......... i'm freezing my ass off here in my vet computer lab.. are they stupid or what? it's freaking cold outside and they still turn the air con up so strong. and i can't leave the room coz i am the sole looker-after of 3 bags.. ahhhhh...

cold cold cold cold cold.....

anywayz, did any of your know, that todya is Pi day!!!!! as in pi, 3.14.

from answers.com "The Greek letter π (pi) is the symbol for the number you get when you divide the circumference of a circle by its diameter; it can't be expressed as a fraction and it goes on forever. Equal to approximately 3.14, it's an irrational and transcendental number with an infinite, non-repeating decimal expansion. So far, it has been calculated out to over a trillion decimal places. We honor π today, on 3/14, Pi Day: some college math departments have parties or ceremonies discussing π and how it has affected our lives. Some celebrate by eating pie — pizza, fruit and otherwise, drinking piña colada and playing piñata. It's fitting that today is also Albert Einstein's birthday; he was born in 1879. "

apparently, some realli hard working mathematician worked his entire life away to calculate pi to dunoe how many decimal places. then when the calculater was invented, it took a mere second...

"March 14, written as 3-14 or 3/14 in the United States date format, represents the common three-digit approximation for the number π: 3.14. Pi Day is often celebrated at 1:59 p.m."

dpnt forget to eat pie!!

overthinking is bad for you

i felt ditched by a fren yesterday, i was quite hurt, then i turned it into angry. ah, my usual style. but it was so embarrassing to be all teary eyed in public.

i dont even knoe why i was sooooooo hurt, it was a small matter. i mean, that morning, i just ditched someone else. but not intentionally. it was coz i was sick.

then i realised that ever since i made the decision to not join production, i know that there will be many instances where i will feel left out. but that incident made me feel that not only am i going to be left out in my dance club prodcution, it seems that some frens have forgotten me too. that's why i was so upset.

but then again, maybe it was my fault. maybe i was a bad fren. i dunnoe.

that's why, it's time to find new activities to occupy myself and stop thinking RUBBISH like this.

i over-think. seriously.

more activities!

today i came home, ate dinner, then waited for desperate housewives, then studied. there was nothing to study, so i revised last year's notes.

i felt so fucking strange lah. usually, i would be dancing or typing rubbish on my blog or watching stupid tv.. i am that lazy. but now i actually make an effort to study and revise. it's good in that sense. but it;s boring.

it's time to find more activities other than dance.. well.. since i can't join production, i'll have to find something lighter that will still keep me alive. as in lifely, not alive alive.

for a start, there's the painting thing i'm going to attend with am. yeah! now,. i also want mroe classes, mroe mroe more more more!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know myself

i dunnoe whether it was becoz i was dizzy, or becoz ni and i watched too many episodes of sex and the city, but before i slept last night, 101 thoughts started to flood my mind.

thoughts of choreography, studies, money, dance, love, work, production, games, computers, animals, work work, loneliness, feeling ignored and underappreciated, my body image, etc etc etc....

then i realised that i didn't know myself at all. in fact thinking back, most of the time when i feel emotional, i dunnoe what i am feeling until i go home and think about it. guess this time round, i have ignored my feelings so much so that they have accumulated and jumbled up to a big fat mess.

it's time to clean it up. 1 by one.

regarding dance. i have decided, that with a heavy heart, i will not do production this year. reasons are obvious, my exams start 1-2 weeks after production. not the usual 4-5 weeks anymore coz of my course structure. and i will also be having pratcical exams during possible production weeks. am i sad? of course. i can forsee myself feeling left-out everytime flarians meet up. i just hope it doesn't become so bad that it makes me wanna avoid them to avoid the pain.

regarding choreography, the song that i choreo halfway too.. i'm going to drop it. coz i feel incompetent and lousy.

my body image? feeling a little fat at the moment. the trip to the gym was bad. it made me feel lazy and fat fat fat. i felt that everyone in there was staring at me and my fat legs. if i wanna exercise, i'm going to the park to run with long pants on next time.

money issues, broke broke broke.. i had to get my lenses and glasses made and i'm going to be broke broke broke... no mroe shopping for me in a longgggggggg time. i have enough clothes anyway.

regarding my studies, i realise that classes are getting easy nowadays coz it is easy. the hard part is feeling the compulsion to revise what i learnt in the past 2 years becoz they are realli importnant now. i mean, i can just not revise and learn everything that they throw at me this year, or i could revise past year work and combine with this year's work and become fantastic. so.. i have to work harder.

i want my computer to play games! but i have to hold it off for a while coz i have no money.. after buying my insurance and car and lenses and glasses.. this has got to stop.

hmm.. i think there are some other stuff but it's jumbled up. so next time maybe..

balance

this is unsual, i haven't blogged in 1 week. ONE week!

guess i was too busy trying to catch up on my sch work and taking my mom out and going for dance and resting... then again.. i remember there were many instances where i felt like blogging but i just just lazy and tired.

school has become sooooooo much interesting this year. so many practical sessions that are actually useful. but there's more work to be done. coz i have to prepare for practicals and write a report(i try) after...

i feel so tired.. shall continue later.

driving

driving recently has become a very stressful for me. rude/mean drivers, poor nagivation, no self-confidence...

yesterday was the 2nd time i got lost while returning home. things were worse when my passengers insist that i was going the wrong way when i wasn't and didn't believe the map or a strnager on the street. i dont want to blame anyone. so the bottom line is, next time i wanna go somewhere, i rely on myself for navigation and directions.

to make things clear, i did not shout at anyone. i was sarcastic at some points but i did not shout. it annoyed me so much when they said that they were tired, as if i wasn't. the part that realliy got my nerves was when they didn't believe the map or the lady from kfc who worked there. and on the way home, after i tunred around, going to the right direction, they still doubted me. all the way till we passed curly joes and reached elizabeth street.

what they dont know was how fucking frightened i was driving on roads i dunnoe. no, one one also knew that i cried that night in bed traumatised by the fact that i nearly endangered 4 lives in my car becoz i couldn't see very well and i was 3am tired. even though it was 10 plus. i nearly didn't give way at a round-a-about i couldn;t see and nearly got rammed by 2 cars. i braked just in time to let half my car pass the white line.

plus, the fucking bmz1 car is still traumatising me. i come home everyday hoping that he is not on my lot becoz i dont want to have to confront him again. i'm not afriad of him , i hate confrontations. they are stressful and ugly, not nice at all to have them in my life.

i arrive at my every destination thankful that i am still safe and sound. (and my passengers)