growth

After reading thru some of my older blog entries these few days.. I realised how some things never change

- Every now and then i still grumble about being alone and how i hate it (this is like my number 1 enemy)
- Every so and so i also whine about my barren social life
- And how i slightly regret being in this course, yet talk about saving animals all the time and how nice it is...
- How much i miss my family dearly, especially after they've gone home from a visit.
- How it pains me to see my grandma suffer from old age and chemo
- How it frustrates me to see my brother grow up like this and behave like that and do this and that...
- And the classic, my feminist side roaring, like how i hate skinny bitches who starve themselves, how i hate it when men treat women like crap.
- Declaring my undying love for my sims2 game. and how i miss it, especially during exam periods.

I also realise how much i;ve grown.. how i take things a little lighter now, how i see things differently, for example, i dont get so angry when i see a lousy movie i dont liek anymroe. how i've become so much closer to my family and how much mroe i appreciate them now. and how i've become aware of myself and my place in this place(gettit?)

but something did changed for the worse.. i realise that my past entries, though filled with pain, always ends with something light hearted. I was far more optimistic back then.
'you've always had yourself in college square" was what my fren said to me recently. true, so true.. comparing my life then to now, it's suppose to be so much better. i have a car, i have more frens (though they are all paired up and don;t go out as often as i liked, back then i didn't even go out as often), i have family here, i am graduating too, though i have mreo work, it's mreo interesting. All in all, i was just coping much better back in my days in college square.

maybe it's just for survival you know, like when you are down to the very end, you are somehow able to pick urself up so easily simply coz there is nothing else you can do to make you feel better. but whatever it is, i really want ot start it again.

now i really gotta start studying! i've blogged for an hour!