Love All Life

my whiny complains about stuff i cannot yell out to people on the street.

Monday, April 24, 2006

arghhhhhh assignments!

shit! it's her fault she didn't inform me that she didn't receive my mail, it's my fault that i didn't read her mail (well i presumed that no one would use the same article as me when i've already mailed it to them!) and it's the medicle ppl's fault for making articles so hard to get a hold on!

i have to pay like 10 dollars, US for one article. WTF????? i'm not paying and i'm nto chaning my article! that's final!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

poor doggy

Fucking pissed... not becoz they girl ill treated her dog, not becoz the dog is freaking skinny, not becoz her bf bought her the dog and she prob doesn't want it, not becoz the dog has a bruised nose, not becoz she throws the dog down on the floor, not becoz she didn't toilet train the dog properly, not becoz she punishes the dog by hitting her nasal plate(aka the nose area), not becoz she claimed she brought the dog to the vet and the vet said that it was okie..

i'm fucking pissed coz i CANNOT DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why? coz it's none of my freaking business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the moment i arrived at joon's party i saw this beautiful dog with maltese/terrier mix, light brown(like knuckles) and short soft skily fur. the moment i held her... my goodness.. she's freaking skinny! i could feel every spinous process of her spinal vertebra and her ribs. her lumber region of the abdomen was concave and her nose was pink.

okie i thought.. this case looks alot like the dog is suffering but i shall clam down and check it out. so i asked for the owner's name and decided to talk to her. i asked about the dog's eatting habits and i tried to be as friendly and not intimidating at all. she claimed that the dog ate alot and she brought the dog recently to the vet and that everything is okie. alright i thought, just a case of a dog who cannot get fat.

but later on alot alot alot of ppl commented that she was very skinny and all the owner said was that "she's okie... puppy mah.."

like NO!!!!!!! she IS DAMN SKINNY like a somalian kid during thr drought!

she left the dog on a chair coz so that the dog didn't wonder around the house. and the dog didn't know how to get down, so she was stuck on the chair. like, onli a malnourished, sick, untrained puppy wouldn't know how to jump down a chair less than a metre high. freak! what the hell is wrong with her?? later on, alot of ppl left the party and the dog was allowed to roam around. suddenly ni noticed that she was shivering non-stop. so ni and i took turns to hug her and try to keep her warm, but she keep shivering. so i told the owner, do u wanna wrap her in a blanket, and she said "no.. she's okie, that's coz she drank cold water joon win gave her"

like WTF??? my cat drinks cold water all the time and she never, never gets like this. and anyway, your dog is SHIVERING, obviously it is uncomfortable, shouldn't you feel that something is wrong??? that your dog is not strong enough?

then the best part came. the dog, who is obviously not toilet trained properly, pooed on the carpet, and she picked up the dog and started hitting his nose!!!!!!!!!

it's okie to punish your dog if she has done something wrong, wack her butt, shout "no" loudly, or hit any fleshy part of the body that would inflick pain but not too much of it. but she hit the nose. whch is the dog's most sensitive part of the body! freak what was she thinking??? no wonder the nose was pink! it's bruised and in pain!!!!!!!!!! it's swollen, like an inflammation!!!

then she threw the dog down after hitting it! WTF????????

i was so angry, i loked away when she hit the dog. at first, i was in denial, i was like "no.. that can't be happening" but later on, in the lift, the sence kept replaying in my head and i was so freaking pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's wrong! it's darn worng and it's animal abuse!

then the best part was in the lift, she said to another fren, you want the dog? take it. yah my bf bought it for me.

so you dont want the dog in the first place, why did your freaking bf buy it for you then?

these ignorant ppl do not understand that adopting/buying a dog is like adopting a CHILD into your home. you feed it, clean after it, watch over it, play with it, accompany it and train it to behave. not toilet training your dog is like telling your child "kid, shit anywhere u like". i know it's hard to train. but even if you make the effort, it's enough. and eventually your dog will get.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh freak... so much for my love for animals and the environment. there is nothing i can do to change other ppl's treatment of animals. what i can do is onli so much and that situation. it was noooooooooooooooooo .. cannot do anything..

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Friday, April 21, 2006

my happy cat


the poor shoryu toy...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

you'll find me in the club..

last night, i actually brought my mom to a club here. it was ni's idea to bring my mom to places where we go. ahahah

so since it was wednesday, we went to hush bar. but unlike the other wednesdays, this wednesday was exceptionally crowded coz of some australian asian association event going on.

i was actually hopping that there wont be too many ppl so that we could enjoy a drink and perhaps dance a little but there were!!!!!!!!! some ppl looked at us funny but hey, i dont mind, so i didn't care!

my mom said she enjoyed watching all the youngsters and their funny behaviours there. which is cool. ppl watching is always entertaining, esp when u're in a club. haha

the thing about clubbing and me is, that i go to clubs, purely to dance. i hate to see girls shaking their things (man.. maybe it isn't even called shaking.. it's called... what? bobbing??) in clubs, trying to catch guy's attention. i hate even mroe to see guys trying to dance up to girls from the behind. it's disgusting and revolting!

that's why i really love to go dancing with my dance frens and frens who go there to DANCE! becoz we go there to DANCE, like truely dance! to pop, break, shake properly, do routine, freestyle, footwork, freeze, mordern, etc etc etc etc .. NOT bob our heads or swave our hips at strangers trying to get their attention.

LONG LIVE THE PROPER DANCERS IN CLUBS!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

shoes

shoes.. i just cannot get enough of them. seriously... i love shoes like how my mom loves bags.. (it runs in the family) and how my stepmom loves shoes too, and how my sister loves bags, and how my brother love video games.. (damn we all have something we'd die to buy..)

just yesterday i found out the the 100 dollar boots i bought form URS has one side of the sole of the heel broken off. i can't glue it back coz it's prob lost somewhere on the streets. i was sad at first, after all, i bought it only last december! i wore it for barely 2 months... but later on.. i thought: "HURRAY! CAN BUY NEW SHOE!"

but damn.. i though URS shoes were hardy. afterall, they look like they are damn good quality and are rather expensive. WTH.. i shall never trust stuff purely on brands again.. it's just like my freaking 200 dollar lacoste shoes.. that got WET inside out when it rained! freak! i was soooooo mad that day.. i think i wrote it in this blog..

so.. i need a sports shoe, and a pair of boots. ha! and does any one know a cobbler in the city? i still wanan fix my URS boots.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

freaking scary night

i couldn't sleep last night. my windows were banging against each other like crazy! as if sleeping on the sofa wasn't uncomfortable enough (well it isn't that uncomfortable but it's not as good as the bed and my back is seriously rebelling against it..) the windows had to make a hel lot of noise last night!

they were howling and shaking and banging against each other! it was never like this before! the stupid contractors that replaced the glass window did a BAD job! i bet they were just in a hurry to finish the job, get it over and done and prepare for easter.

i remember asking them to do it on a thursday for me coz that's when junni can be home to supervise .. they replied "oh no.. can't it's easter"

WTF?? easter is on friday not thursday! lazy assholes! not surprisingly they didn't finish the job well at all!

ahhhhhhhhhh i hate this sort of things that waste time! it's freaking inefficient system is getting on my nerves! and nerves dont grow back!!!!!!!!!!! i asked the concierge if they could give me the number of the manager who organised the window chnage and she just told me to tell my agent DAMN.. this is going to take ages! how long mroe before my window shakes and drops down 19 storeys? what if it lands on someone's car? someone's head??

and as if my insufficient sleep is not enough.. my cousina nd my mom woke up damn early to make breakfast.. in other words.. make NOISE in the kitchen!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i really wanna study....

Monday, April 17, 2006

now i'm too slack

first i was too uptight! but now, i haven't studied in a week!

hence the end of this entry..

study study study study study study...

Monday, April 10, 2006

oh brother



he shares my blood...
he holds my soul...
will he ever know, ever know... he's cutting his own skin...
he's my brother...
come's straight from my mother...
he's stronger than he thinks he is, let him know, let him know...

i pray to God, will he help him?
does he deserve this? i dont know...
at times he, comes across selfish, but he's ain't a bad person this i know...

his lies, his cheats, his stealings...
makes me cry, till i... stop breathing...
he's simply lost his mind...
Lord, i'm asking you Lord... will you help him find it?
Ooo

oh it's sad, find a will, and you'll find a way...
Ooo
i live by that, each and everyday yeah yeah yeah...

Daniel won't you listen to the words i say?
writing this was harder than you'd ever think...
you got a heart... you got a mind.. you got a soul...
and your eyes are kind, your eyes are kind, and your eyes are kind...

Ooo
Hmmm

Daniel won't you listen to the words i say?
writing this was harder than you'd ever think...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

my cat


this is for some ppl to see.. this is my cat.. ta da!!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

i dont wanna be boring anymore!!

alot of things are running in my head now..(as always..) frens, family, sch work, dance, house....

alot of things are on my mind coz alot of things are bothering me. i've said it before and i'll say it again.. vet course is crazy! i just have so much work to do it never ends! to the point that my relationships with my frens are suffering.. and yes.. i feel damn sad about it.

vet course is crazy.... lessons 9 to 5 everyday. lab class every day..
mondays: lectures 9 to 1, then pathology prac 2 to 5. pth prac is okie coz it's computer stuff and we can leave early if we wanted to do it at home..

tuesdays, morning pracs, then afternoon letcures to 5

wednesdays: morning lectures 9 to 1, then afternoon pracs to 5 again

thursdays: morning pracs, then lectures 2 to 5.

fridays: no mercy.. sometimes we have lectures 8 to 1 in the morning, then lab classes, parasitology from 2 to 5..

please tell me how do i have the time for anything else? plus the fact that i have to add in my flare dance stuff??? meetings, rehearsals etc etc..

yesterday i heard something damn shattering.. all it all, it just meant that i've difted away from some people whom i really consider impt in my life here. and i dont like it at all, not one bit! i know i've been so busy with my work, to the point that i cannot stretch my concentration anymore over to other things like my frens. but i dont wanan be like that anyway, i wanna chnage i dont wanna be boring! i wanan go out. but how??

i know about this effort thing. as in, if you wanna have something, u have to put effort into it. but what if u feel that you've put in effort for somethings but ppl did not respond??

shit.. i'm starying to feel that this bloog has no structure.. as usual, my tot s are all over the place.. i cannot think properly..

all the more i should get it out of my head!

dont wanan be boring, dont wanna be distant no more. must balance work and play, must restore old frenships, must become closer to mroe ppl... must must must must must..

distant

i'm tired... i have so many many things to do.. it makes me wonder if i should just cut down on some things i'm doing.

for a start, vet course is crazy. it's like working from 9 to 5 everyday! i hate my course's long hours!!! it drives me mad.. and most of all, i feel that my other frenships are suffering.

WTF........ but there's nothing i can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last year, i still had maybe one day out of the 5 weekdays where sch is half day. but now everyday is 9 to 5!!!!!!!!!!!!! then after that i have dance to worry about. and my sch work.. i dont have time for anything else!!!!!!!!!!!

feel damn sad now... i'm not the only one feeling this...

sometimes i get so busy that i dont know what i'm doing. i just know i'm doing "this now" and try as i might i cannot stretch my brain and my energy over to another "thing".

no, i dont wanna be ignorant, i dont wanna be distant, i wanna have best frens! but how?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

no wonder the other ppl in my course have no life except vet!

i hate my course structure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i had more hours a day.. like 46 hours a day.. then i can do mroe things..........

Thursday, April 06, 2006

so tired...

dunnoe what's wrong... stamina extra low these few days..

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

the most disgusting prac and my new skinny jeans!

it was full of fliud... yellow, pungent ammonia smelling fluid.

i had a pacental prac today and my group happened to have the biggest calf fetus ever. it was almost full term.. but the uterus was cut out for our prac. when we cut the uterus open.. it was all filud everywhere.. like a water balloon that just burst. the calf was huge. could have easily been 40kg? i couldn't touch the thing at all even with gloves on./ i know i should touch it but i wasn't feeling very well from the lectures that morning.. the tiny handwritting made me stare at the white boeard like forever and it made my head spin..

speaking of white boards.. why did they ever invent it? yes it's cleaner than chalk boards but it's freaking so much harder to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anywayz, i bought my first pair of skinny jeans last saturday. i never dared to try or buy skinny jeans ever since i tried my first pair at gasp. damn they gave me a bad impression of skinny jeans. gasp jeans' cutting is just not good! glad i dared to try other skinny jeans. i woulkd ahve regretted not buying this pair. it fits so well!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

mixed up

sometimes..

Sometimes i wish i was more heard, or that i'm not being ignored.
Or rather, sometimes i wish my words mean more to people than they think.
Perhaps sometimes, i even wish i had better talking skills, that way, maybe mroe people will listen to me.

Sometimes i wish i was not so sensitive, so that i dont feel jealousy, or inferiority, or outcasted.
Or maybe sometimes i wish i was more sensitive, so that i dont make ppl upset without knowing it.
Or perhaps, sometimes i wish people around me were more sensitive, then i wouldn't find myself keeping all the pain within.
Or maybe, sometimes i wish people were mroe straight forward, that way, i dont have to keep guessing if i've done something wrong.

Sometimes, i wish i was stronger, that i am more efficient, more clever, more able.
Or maybe sometimes, i wish vet course wasn't so competitive.
Sometimes, i even wonder if i suit this course, whether i can even pass.

Sometimes i wish to feel numb. in that way, it wont matter what people think about me
Or maybe, sometimes i wish i wouldn't judge myself through other people's eyes too much.
Sometimes i wish to feel numb. in that way, i wont feel outcasted, unthought of, inferior, behind.
Or maybe, sometimes i should learn to ignore some things in life and be happy.

Some times i wish people would open up their hearts to look at the big picture, to be more aware or the helpless, the needy, the environment, the animals, that not everything is about money.
Or maybe sometimes i wish i could close my heart and not feel so so much pain.

Sometimes i wish i was a better person, that i won't get grumpy or angry or sulky or annoyed so easily.
Or maybe sometimes i wish people would understand that a sick girl who feels uncomfortable cannot walk forever.

sometimes... just sometimes...