update

Lots have happened since that stupid christmas...


for a start,letme just convince everyone that i'm okie.. i justrealli like to nag and complain on my blog..


chritsmas day


anywayz, when my mom came back on christmas day and my dad convinced me to g to the airport with himand my brother topickthem (as in my mom, and 2 sisters) okielor...i thought.. the moment i saw my mum, though angry that she 'cheated' me. i was quick to forgive.. haiz, it's just my kind hearted soul...


i decided to forgiveher even more when she took out a nice purple top for me.. hohoho


My hair straightener died on me (on christmas morning i think.)


How sad... one day it was useful the next, dead.. (bloody 200dollar striaghtener..) i need to get a new one...


Boxing day


PLayedmajiong the entire day with my mum, steph and grandma. neven seen my grandma laugh so much until she needed to pee in along time. whathappened? well steph forgot that she had 'pong'ed 8wan. then she threw the 4th one she had out. we all kept quiet. thern my grnadma burst out laughing..


27th


went shopping alone. bought all the things i needed. well not ALL. but most. really broke.. i think my bank balance isless than 1000 now. but i really dont wann ask money from my dad. and mum stop telling me to do so.i will do it in my own time thanks.


28th


went to see my jc frenzfor dinner.. coolies! sigh.. going to miss them.


29th


went for lunch with steph and mum j. BIG lunch. big tummy too. then went for facial a\to getrid ofall the evil black heads on my face. then went to meet bboy Vinhny with ness ian and fiona and ni.woot! haven seen them in ages! it was nice. but my yummy got bigger.


30th (today)


went for lunch with mum. then went shopping at some warehouse sale. bought a dress for only 6 dollars! incredible! then had dinner at home and at the right time too., "so nice, you me and my parents and the rest of the family having dinner together.. how nice hor kajei" hinted my dad tome. in other words. had i gone out to eat dinner again.. hmm.. not nice.


feelings now

sigh.. going backto melb so soon..WTF.. just as i'm getting use to this place... i have to go back and get use to there all over again.

i also have to face the reality and my fear of taking my car driving test.. (legs shaking..)

but,, i get to see..NEKO DARLING! miss you! and i als get to see my flarianz!!!!! missya all lots. and my other frenz!! (hmmm who's there?)

but still... i'm really afraid of the test. but like.. come on! i can't run away from it! at least not forever...

oh oh oh!!! i drovemy mum's car once fromher house backto mine. illegally of course.. so exiciting!!!!! and no one got killed.. but my brother did suffer from his own imagination.

again! again again again!!!!

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fumming! they disappointed me AGAIN!


i asked my brother to call mymum to ask her what time she was coming back tmr for the christmas dinner i was going to prepare. "10pm"


what???? how the fuck are we suppose to have dinner at that time?


i called her back. "how are wegoing to have dinner if u come back at 10 plus?!" i asked.


"oh.. didn't daddy tell you. aiyo this daddy ah do things..." " i having very big migrane here.."


first of all, i doint give a shit as t whether you're in pain anot. i care about why you broke your promise to spend chritsmas with the fmaily. all of you have always been away during chirtsmas. then what the fuck am i back home here for?to ROT AT HOME???


i put so much effort trying to make this a better family. but it is dysfunctional as always.


before i learnt that i cannot make dinner anymore,i was going thru some stuff in te fridge too see what i can cook.OMG expired sauces date back to 2004 b(The year i left for aus) thatis just PROOF THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO THROWS EXPIRED STUFF AWAY IS ME.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate this dysfunctional family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MESS!!

fumming fumming fumming...


for the last time. stop fucking bitching about everyone. stop and take a look atyourself. Pot calling the kettle black!


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


what happened justnow was that i tried to search for the christmas tree and we couldn't freaking find it. the miad doesn't know. she's new. and yes, we have alot of JUNK in our house! i told my brother to call my mum to ask her where it is. she doean't know either. why? coz the ex-maid packed it. oh wait. maybe ex-ex-maid.


"your mother ah, so many things. all dont wanna throw. thattime in hong kong... she....." my grandmother grumbled to me. honestly, i HATE TO HEAR THIS BITCHING STUFF. yes, i fucking grew up with everyone bitching to me about the people i love. my mom bitching about the other mom, my grandma/pa bitching about my mum, mu aunties bitching about my mum and new sister.


FUCK CAN ALL OF YOU STOP??????????????????? now that i have grown older, i have the courage to stand up for myself. but thinking back, i regret so so so much that i just kept quiet.


somehow i think this is the anger that has accummulated for years that has lead to my explosive nature when i'm realli angry.



i know what willmymumsay if i called her back to tell her that i cannot find the darn chritmas tree."aiyo.. that stupid ex-maid!!! she so messy, blah blah blah"


this is what i wanna say to my mumJ
first of all, it's is not the miad's responsibility to note where all YOUR things are.
2ndly,stop pushing every blame to the maid. that things in the house are all over the place, that we have so mnay things. coz halfof them are freaking yours. and stop blaming mama too for having too many things. youhave alot of theings to. Both you and mama have alot of things. both you too dont want to throw away alot of things. both of you dont realli care anyway. and for Goodness sake, please throw away things you dont need and use. like thevacuum cleaner under yanzhong's bed or the cupboard full of old clothes you neither wearnor use in uncle kum san's room. in fact all your things are everywhere! there aremountains ofthings missplacedcoz
you dont clear the old stuff!


tomama.
STOPBLAMING my mum for the messy house. youhavealot of CRAP thatyou dont wanan throw away either. and for the lasttime, stop sheltering yanzhong! mostof all, stopbitching to me abut everything and anything. frommyex0mum to my new0mum to my money affairs to yanzhong/. justfreaking stop! NO, do not even think that for a second i will "be atyour side f this political fmaily game" by bitching to me abut my mumj and her bad habits. do not even think of digging up old stories to tell me thati dont wanna hear. that willnot work either. coz frankly, i am not on anyboday's side.i have always been fair.


to yanszhong.
PLS DO NOT INHERIT HORRIBLE JUNK-KEEPING GENES AND THROW AWAY THOSE OLD TOYS YOU HAVE NOT TOUCHED FOR AT LEAST 5YEARS. it is taking up space and making our house look UGLIER AND UGLIER.


in fact the house is so ugly now i dont feel like coming back here at all.


i've always felt that the mother of the house. my grandma is old and senile. stephanie and busy and partly doesn't care. the maid doean'tt know anything. my grandpa has a misstress to worry about. my parents have theri KL house to care ofr and seldo, come home. my uncle is only home for 2times a year.


but nowthat i've gone overseas, the house has been left in ruins literally. no one is there to clear expired stuff fromthe fridge, no one is there to convince mama or mumJ or yanzhong to throw useless things away. Like when i came back home this december, the chinese new year "fu dao" sign was still hanging in our arch way. WTF..... and i'mpretty sure the reason they kept it there wasn't becoz it was pretty.


i hate this so much! coz i cannot do anything about it.well not much at least. and it's justsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking frustrating!!!!!!!!


But i MUST do something,and i WILL. I HATE TO SEE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE IN A MESS!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


WHEN WILL THEY LEARN...

my house

my lights went all out suddenly.. then i herd the monsterous thunder sound..


black out..


howtypiczl of my run down singapore house.

sometimes i really dont understand my parents and grandparents. they can buy my brother the lastest mostexpensive gadets and toys. buy themselves expensive cars and eat fancy expensive dinner. pay monthly membership for some country club theyhardly use. give me somuch moey tospend. but refuse to revampthe house.

just look atit. the pipes, wiring and evrything is out of date. with the slightest lightning, the house blacks out. crap furniture is everywhere. ,y grandma refuses to throw them awayeven though theyare spoilt (that's why they got replaced in the first place)

now that i have become a home maker(coz ilive along in aus mah) i look atthis house with much pity. it has somuch potentialto be beautiful. the graden is huge! but it's left so messy and unruly, it's nolonger a garden. it's a jungle.

the living room is sohuge but thereare 3 extra tables here and there just becoz my grnadma refuses to throw them away.

the bar... is no longer a bar. it's a storeroom. the smallroom hasan extra bed but the maid is not allowed tslee on it. she sleepson the floor on amatress. who slps in it? mygrandma when she's taking a nap. (she can't claimb upand dwn the stairs)

the hugemongous kitchen is full of junk. and we have 4 fridges in the kitchen. yes 4! not justnrmla ones. HUGE fridges! and whatever for? everything is jststocked stocked stocked andnot used. half the items in the fridge are spolit or expired and no one bothers to throw but me.

and my balconyis demolished to make room formore rooms. sigh..

justGIVE ME THIS HOUSE> AND I WILLMAKE IT BEAUTIFUL.

ahh

so grumpy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

now my brother's hpoggint my sim computer! fine! i'll do OTHER STUFF!

cannot even go out late.. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

where has my 21 yearold freedom that i am suppose to have?

hk

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

i SO wanna scream but i keepit inside(as always)

whenever i'm with my family,it doesn't matter how patient you are (like am) , you will get annoyed eventually.

I remember being so eager to see myfamily. i realy feel like i miss them when i'm away from them but when i am with them, 60% of the time is tension.

mygranmother is by far the mostannoying. it's just soooooo soo soooo bloodyfrustrating when she contanstly nags at people and grumbles about random things.i know, i know she's getting old. but there are just times when it builds up and i canot take it anymore. i usually justwalk away. i dont even bother to answer or talk back. it' s rude and mostof all, i dunnoe what to say. whatdoes she nag about? EVERYTHING!

from my past (which is really the lastthing on eaarth i want her to tell me about... mymum, my dad, the money the divprce my brother... blah blah blah, like.. it's fucking over. get over it. the one suff3ering the most is me and i'mn over it so shouldyou!)to

oop[s, to be continued

OKiei over reacted.. but seriously... everything here is spolit... the computer, the cuboard. the upkeep is justso bad coz of so many things..

shites lah..

and the bestpartis thati'msick..

againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

KNN!!!!!!!!!!

Back sucks..it reali does.ALWAYS

the room the house everything is messy. this aint my home anymore

and i'm sick. again! bloody hotweathetr! i hatethis place!