oops

hey.. sorry guys, guess i over reacted..

but seriously, i LOVE THIS GAME!

chaoz

sims 2 university!!!!

why? why??????????? why can't my computer play trhis game???????? life had lost it's meaning!!! and no body understands me!!!!!!!

my parents refuse to buy me a new computer to play the sims 2 before, so i upgraded the old computer but it was unstable coz of some crap i dunnoe!!! yes, i'm a BIG DUMB COMPUTER IDIOT! but at least i still could play the game. the computer was just a litlle crazy, it would crash any moment and i had to save the game everynow and then.

but after i've instralled the expansion pack, sims 2 univeristy, it cannot work at all!!!!!!!! it would hang while loading and i would wait for like fiften mins and nothing would happen. then i'll jave to shut down the computer using the restart button and take the cd out and satrt again and i've never been sucessful in loading a game! then i had to try to reintsall my game THREE times!!!!! imagine waiting in front of the computer for 1 hour each time it reintals the whole game, which also means, i have lost all my previous games that i createdf and played for sims 2. why didn't i do back up?? coz i'm a CFOMPUTER IDIOT!!!

F**K!!! i have so many things to blame!!!! 1st, i blame my parents for noty sposering the money when they can afford to subcribe to some country club and seldom use the facilities there, they can gamlbe, drink, go on holiday but cannot spare $1000 to buy me a computer!!

2nd, i balme mt computer!! lousy asshole!

3rdly and most of all, i balme MYSELF!!! for being a COMPUTER IDIOT! i dunnoe anything about rams and mb, gb crap! what?? did you say learn?? i tried!!!! i even borrowed a book from the library last year an "idiot's guide to understanding the computer" and i still did not undersdtand a word i was reading! (no wonder i'm in vet science..)

i also blame myself for SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY AND NOT SAVING FOR RAINY DAYS!!!!!!!!! and this is a rainy day, just when i need some money to buy a good computer.. ah!!!! all those time when i won scholarships for good results in secondary sch, i got $1500 in total!!!!! oh no.. wait.. i also rememebr winning another $500 in JC!! argh!!!!!! see lah ning! shop shiop shop.. in the end also never really wear the stuff!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

and the best part?? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW I FEEL!!!!!!!!!!! (except 2 ppl, sis and andi)

you guys (esp my parents) dont understand! i'm a 2o year old addicited to a beautiful game!! where i can create anyone i want, and live their lives!!! it's soooooooooooooo exciting and sooooooooooooooooo FUN!!!!! it's my obssesion!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!

FINE!! IF THEY DONT WANNA BUY ME A COMPUTER, I'LL BUY IT MYSELF! IT MAY TAKES MONTHS TO SAVE UP MY OWN MONEY! BUT I'LL DO IT!!! AND WHEN THAT DAY COMES.. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH....

p/s: joke of the day. a conversation with my brother:
me: "yan... wanna chip in some money to buy the sims 2 expansion pack, sims 2 university?"
yanzhong: "ok... here's 2 dollars."

what's your season?

Spring - You are sweet and kind, you have a fresh
personality which makes everyone like you!

What is your season?
brought to you by

oh brother... where has your mind floated off to again???

hurray!!! my 2nd last paper just ended today and after that, I went out with my mom and brother. We went shopping at the city. Ha.. Bought a very nice pair of 3/4 pants!!

but when it was time for lunch.. I got soo irritated with my brother!! I was starving!! I needed to eat soon, I know my mom was hungry too. But we had to walk half an hour just to find a place where they sold something my brother ate! He's bloody fussy, so so so so much worst then me! He says he feels like eating cha sao rice, so my mom found this restaurant where it is sold, but there was nothing else interesting there. So I took them to other places. my mom had to stare at the menu for 5=10 mins before she made her decision. no! It's not my mum's fault, it's my brother's!!!!!!!!!!

he's so fussy!! Bloody, grossly horribly fussy!!!!! Black pepper beef means black pepper beef, no black pepper chicken for him. Pork chops means pork chops, no other form of chops, fried omelet egg means omelet egg style only, no other forms of egg, no sunny side up, no scambled eggs and so on! F**K!!!!!!!! I was so irritated with him! Why must we accommodate for this spoilt brat who doesn't even care for his own self???????

for example, while my mom was staring hard at the menu to see if there was something he ate, he was pracing around like a sissy, his mind has wondered off to another place, or else, he would be playing his game boy while walking, and my mom has to "drag" him around. He would cling on to my mom while my mom walks and "leads" him around. It doesn't bother him that that we are hungry, yet taking time to search for his food!!!! he's not appreciative, neither is he respectful! He would stand at places where he's blocking other people's way and not know it at all. People on the street have to shove him, say excuse me.. And so on just to get him out of their way. He is darn ignorant!!! In other words, he's blur!

if I tell him to stop pracing around, or stop blocking people's way, he would move off, then come to me and say "why don't you just tell them to go the other way" or come out with something "witty" which is actually acting dump! Ah!! He's a LOSER!

man.. Why am I sooooooo bothered???? so bothered to "make him a better, less weird" person??????? Because I don't him to be bullied at secondary school...

yes.. Those who knew me in secondary sch all know that I was a troubled teen... Lost in my own world. You know, it's funny how after so so so many years.. (hmm.. 4-6 years), everytime I think back about my secondary school life, it still hurts.. so much so that I think it has scarred my life for the future..

you know, many of you always look at me as the "cool, hip, happy" person right? (hey, don't deny that.. haha). It's a big contrast to my secondary 1 and 2 life. Man.. It's so complicated... But to put it in 1 sentence, I was a nerdy, bullied, low-self esteem, in-my-own-world, no frens(or rather, very little frens), blur girl...

my life in secondary 1 and 2 really cut me deep... I don't know how exactly to put it down coz there's just so many things.. but I want to write it out coz, I don't want it to trouble me anymore.. You know what I mean? yes.. this is the first time i'm writing it out in full, as much as I can.

about my secondary school life.. yeah, I entered the school not knowing anyone. (as always.. like my JC, and uni too..) I actually made some frens at the start. but my tuitions keep me back from mixing around with my frens after school and we grow apart. slowly, I felt that I was being bullied in class.. for example, after technical class, it was time for recess, and becoz I was going back to class to put my books down first, EVERYONE would pile their books on my hands for me to "help" them take it back to class.. at first I thought I was just being helpful, like, it really isn't a problem for me to help a couple of people take their stuff back to class. then one day the load was off balance and I nearly dropped it. then 3 angels came to help me, Cheryl, Melissa and Wendy. but I overheard Melissa say to Cheryl: "chuanning is so helpful, and yet they always say her..." And then silence.. suddenly it struck me that they were talking behind my back all the time and that the "cool" people on my class didn't think so much of me at all. I felt weird.. coz I AM weird..

another time.. this girl in class came up to me and commented.."are you ningning online" as in, is your nickname really ningning, I nodded my head, then she giggled and walked off.. like what????!!!!!! what does she mean? is she making fun of me? ah! And all I could do was sit there and ponder, I never defended myself, coz I didn't know who, and I don't have frens to back me up..

another time, another girl came up to me, and called my name. I looked at her and said "yes?" and she giggled again, "do you always look at people above your spects? like grandma" sigh.. so hurt.. so so so so hurt.

going to school everyday was a DRAG.. I hated it not becoz of class, it was becoz I hated recess, I hated the fact that I had no real frens, I hated everything in my life! People were mean to me, they bullied me, they teased and taunted me and I hated it all they couldn't do anything!!! i mean, i had sdome frenz, whom i wasn't close to at all.. and it was darn obvious that i was outcasted from the main group.

one unforgivable incident, my English teacher wanted us to write journals, so I took it seriously ans wrote almost anything I had to mind on the book. this included how I felt towards some people, how I felt towards you know.. a lot of stuff, when he handed the corrected books out to my classmates to hand them out for us, they would READ my journals!!! I recall suddenly, some people got angry with me and I didnt even know why? then I found out that they have been reading my journals.. It was so angry and scared..

at first,I thought I was uncool becoz, I looked nerdy, wore spects tied my hair up and wore a hairband as well. to be honest, I never thought why people didn't really like me till I went for this sch trip to china.. where I felt the real pain of frens disliking you. but it made me realise how much i want to have good true frenz.

however, in secondary 2, I was even more depressed. I still didn't make "progess" as in the people in class still didn't like me very much. not to say that they hated me, they just didn't want to be seen with me you know? And they already had their little groups fromed. I remember coming back from school, crying for 2 straight days, and I didn't even know why I was crying... like when I saw steph come back home, I would go talk to her and feel better. but no one in my family knew my problem, not even myself. I wasn't motivated to do anything, I didn't do my tuition work, my shcoolwork, I just laid on the sofa, crying. And.. yeah I did think that life was not worth living. I knew something was wrong, I thought of seeing a phycologist to find out what was wrong, but I know what my problem was now.. It was loneliness.. (again..)

come to think of it, maybe that's the reason why I HATE to feel alone at home in australia.. but right now, i'm used to it. coz ive grown up perhaps..

anywayz, from the start of secondary 2 till the midyear, I was a very depressed teenager. It had suddenly occured to me that I was uncool, outcasted and a loner with not much frenz. rememeber the 2 days straight coming home crying thing? that was monday and tuesday, then another few angels came to rescue me on wednesday. It was my dance frenz!!!! yeah, I went for my chinese dance lesson on wednesday and befriended diana, serine, meifang and some others. they weren't the usual people I knew coz they were from normal academic or normal tech students. but I was so touched by their warmth in welcoming me to dance. (I think it was onli the 3rd week of lessons.) that wednesday, I didn't cry, I was happy, coz I made some real frens. =)

then my "chance" came in mid secondary 2. hahah sounds corny but anyway, I suddenly got closer to melissa, the few angels in class. =) then I got closer to cheryl too, (then irene in secondary 3). It happened coz that group had a big fight with each other. that's when mel confided in me and that's how I got closer to her..

the rest is history, as in.. the rest of my secondary school life went rather smoothly.. my grades sky-rocketed, I made more frenz, I was more involved in dance and I even got a boyfriend.. hahaha... I was happy and fulfilled. my life was finally working out fine! my maid was the 1st to regconise the change. "you look alot happier this 2nd semester of secondary 2".. =) yesh.. I was a lot happier.

all in all... my experience in secondary school for that 1.5 years was hell. but it made me a better person. as in, I know how it feels like to be bullied and not helped and stuff... so I always tell myself that I wont do things to people that I won't do to myself. I also told myself that JC was a new start for me, so was uni. I made sure I had many frenz, I made sure I was good to people as they are good to me, if not better.

whao.. that's about it I guess... but I know there are still alot of things not written down.. maybe I just cannot remember them.. but everytime something happens to make me think back on these bad bad bad memories... It just hurts to so much.. guys I cannot tell you how much it hurts.. I swear... so pls, don't be mean to people in class whom you think are weird. I mean sure.. You don't get along with them.. but just don't bully them like how I was treated back then.
( unless of course they did something terrible to you in the 1st place.)

sigh.. when will these bad memories ever every go away??

happy birthday to me!

whao.. it's just 30 mins of my 20th birthday and already 2 groups of frens have come to celebrate my birthday with me..
so happy!!!!!

thank you ginnie, esther, derrick, bernice, grace, siaowen, mingjie, wangfan, lingling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so many other people!!!!

sigh.. too bad i have to study my ass off this birthday, hopefully my 21th birthday would be more awesome than this! =)

k, gotta get back to studying. i'll update more on my b-day celebrationa later..

=) sp happy!!!!!

old fren

i was walking home from my 3rd examination today, wehn i saw my old fren Lina.

i haven't seen her in almost 6 months and she's grown a lot slimmer and prettier. i got to know her last year from my physics prac class.. i thought she was annoying at 1st coz i had to do almost everything at the prac (she was clueless) and she was also very nosiy, as in everything she did, had a sound. whether it was tapping the pen on the book, flipping the pages violently, sighing aloud.. you name it..

but then i got to know her better and i learnt to ignore her noisy habits.

she's a very special fren to me becoz, whenever i feel frustrated wiht my family, i remember her.

you see, her parents both died when she was barely 18 and she is supporting her 15 yr old brother on her own. she told me that her mom died of some blood clot in her brian that killed her within days, and less than a year later, her father committed suicide. from what? i didn't have to ask, it was obviously from grief...

she's living off government grant but she still works part time to make some extra cash. i realli admire her strenght to live on. she told me that she went to visit her relatives in hong kong and they told her to come stay in hong kong with them, but she refused. coz she's born and raised in australia and didn't want to leave her country. btw, the government supplied her the money to fly the plane.

sigh, just as i was feeling very annoyed with my mom and brother in the house when i'm studying, i meet her.. it's a SIGN from God..

exams.. so stressed

yeah, i just finished my 1st 2 papers, anatomy and biochemistry. whao.. what a hurdle! i'm so stressed out from these 2 exams that i didn't sleep till 4 for thoses 2 nights!! i was studying away.

i installed sims 2 into my lap top again, this time it's for my brother.. (coz he didn't bring his PS2 games..) and haha.. i couldn't reisist playing a litlle myself. but this laaptop cannot really support the game.. it's very slow..

really really miss sims........ want to play it soooooooo much!! luckily i'm back next sunday!! 19th june. wooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

hmm.. should i get a computer her to play sims???? pls tag. =)

i also couldn't resist browsing the sims website.. whao!!!!!! 2 expension packs are out already!! the sims university and sims night life. and FINALLY, the sims have their own CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i MST play that, just HAVE to.. i'll die if i dont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

does anyone wanna sponser?? haha...

my goodness,,.... i don't ever want to have children like that!

haha.. my brother and my mum came yesterday and from the moment they arrived, there's just non-stop noise!

well, they do keep a little more quiet when i'm studying, but generally, i can't stand my brother's attiude. i can imagine him becoming the number 1 geek in school when he goes to secondary school! he is unbelievable annoying in the sense that he would just sit around and play his gameboy, not help with any chore in the house! he cannot even off the toilet lights by himself. and he is more blur than me!!!!! i can't stand it! when he wanted to charge his gameboy, 1st he asked mom for the charger, then asks me where to plugg it in. oh mi gosh, the electrical outlet(is that what you call it?) is just in front of you, use your eyes!!!!!!!! then when he left his game boy ont he floor to charge, my mom scolded him for letting the wire cross a narrow path such that ppl can trip over it easily. "but sister ask me to put the charger there!" for God's sake! i asked you to plugg it in there but not place the wire in such a away that it tripps ppl right????

game boy and play station has DESTROYED my brother's brain. he used to be sooo alert, and aware of his surroundings, now all he cares about is his make belief world of pokemon, havest moon, harry potter what not!!!!!!!!!!!!

just now as they were about to go the the supermarket, my mom asked him to bring a lipbalm coz his lips were very dry. then he asked "but my pants doesn't have a pocket" SO??? use your other pockets! your jacket? your shirt? bring a pouch?????

what has happent o today's children??? brainwashed by all the virtual games, living in their own world of "glory" in their computer games. i know it's very fun, but no matter how much fun you get out of it, you are wastign your time! the acheivements in your games mean NOTHING in reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and as if it wasn't enough,... my mother keeps scolding and picking on him!!!

noise noise nosie!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, better get back to studying!

(P/S: joke of the day, my brother brought his play station, made my mother carry it all the way at the airport as a hand luggage coz he didn't have the strenght to carry it, and then forgot to pack the games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

so happy!

hehee.. just had a small birthday celebration with some close frenz and CS frenz... at cocoblack just now.. so happy... wow.. actually speechless.. dunnoe what to say... just full of joy.. thank you siaowen, sherleen, dea, estella, shwee, bing, dawn(though you didn't come, dont worry, we celebrate together some other time, meanwhile, beter take care of yourself.. ), priscilla, joyce, jolin(sorry if i spell wrongly..), ling ling, wanfang, ming jie, shiyang, steven..

hahaha still have more parties for my birthday to come.. was hoping to celebrate with my beloved flare ppl if i can... and my wonderful vet frenz too..

my mom is coming to tml!!! with my brother too.. hurray!!!!!!!!!

can't wait.. meanwhile.. must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study must study

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it's official... i'm a scrady cat

i studied in my school libraray today.. i though i did quite alot of work... satisfied, i decided to head my way home.

i got out of the library, and my my.. the sky was so dark!! i looked at my watch and realised that it was already 8pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

"freak!" i though to myself, as the pathways i walked thru uni were so freaking dark! yeah sure, they have lights, but it still wasn't bright enough. moreover, it was cold, and deserted. the whole atmosphere was just so frightening... i took off my ear phones and walked really fast throu uni, but i was so scared..... i felt so unprotected coz i was alone in a dark place with so many turns and corners and with no one around...

i reached the tramp stop and decided to take the tramp instead of walk home coz i was so freaked out.. my heart was racing and my body was shaking from the cold..

on my way home i treasured the warmth of the tramp ride, and realise how vunerable i am in this big world... especially when all alone.