sigh
recently, i thnk i've been very very down on my luck. the cyst, the immunization, my illness, then my tests and exams, my bf, so many horrible things happen to me.
am i destined to live a life of misery??? my mom once said that ppl with big palms (like me) have to work very hard for their entried life. is that true? coz somehow, i feel that sometimes i work so hard in my studies, in my dance, in my health, social life, whatever, and i get the same results as other ppl(which is good when you think about it, but bad when it comes to exam results, coz it means you're dumb..) but most of the time, i think i really cannot make it..
i'm so sick of studying! but my passion of animals keeps me going. however, sometimes in class, whenever i feel that i've not "kept up" with the rest of the class, i doubt myself.. can i really do this? i work my ass of to get to melb uni's vet science course, and the cream of the crop of australia are here in this course with me. me? i''ve studied in a neighbourhood sch my entire life. not that it's not good.. but i'm worried that i just cannot do any better than what i am doing now...
i really want to pass with 1st class honours in the course. i know that is impossible with the rate i am going.. but just recently, so many things have happened to me. so much so that i couldn't study properly. like this week, i have my last anatomy test worth 12.5%. but i haven even gone half way through my books for this test. why? coz i was ill on monday and couldn't concentrate. the test is tml, and yet i dont feel the urgency to study. partly coz i know i will finish studying(by hook or by crook), and partly coz i just...how should i put this... just... cannot to bothered anymore you know.. i have so much stress on me that it everything just blurs out. i dont feel the stress to study anymore. and to be honest, i've never been so unprepared for an examinaton in since secondary 1.(coz i never studied in lower sec, and primary sch too..)
i'm also very troubled with my relationship with andi.. sigh.. i wont write it in this blog though. then again, dont think i have the mood to type it down, coz i'd be repeating myself.
funny thing though, loneliness use to be my main trouble here, but it disappeared, maybe coz of dance frenz and CS frenz, just got used to it.....
am i destined to live a life of misery??? my mom once said that ppl with big palms (like me) have to work very hard for their entried life. is that true? coz somehow, i feel that sometimes i work so hard in my studies, in my dance, in my health, social life, whatever, and i get the same results as other ppl(which is good when you think about it, but bad when it comes to exam results, coz it means you're dumb..) but most of the time, i think i really cannot make it..
i'm so sick of studying! but my passion of animals keeps me going. however, sometimes in class, whenever i feel that i've not "kept up" with the rest of the class, i doubt myself.. can i really do this? i work my ass of to get to melb uni's vet science course, and the cream of the crop of australia are here in this course with me. me? i''ve studied in a neighbourhood sch my entire life. not that it's not good.. but i'm worried that i just cannot do any better than what i am doing now...
i really want to pass with 1st class honours in the course. i know that is impossible with the rate i am going.. but just recently, so many things have happened to me. so much so that i couldn't study properly. like this week, i have my last anatomy test worth 12.5%. but i haven even gone half way through my books for this test. why? coz i was ill on monday and couldn't concentrate. the test is tml, and yet i dont feel the urgency to study. partly coz i know i will finish studying(by hook or by crook), and partly coz i just...how should i put this... just... cannot to bothered anymore you know.. i have so much stress on me that it everything just blurs out. i dont feel the stress to study anymore. and to be honest, i've never been so unprepared for an examinaton in since secondary 1.(coz i never studied in lower sec, and primary sch too..)
i'm also very troubled with my relationship with andi.. sigh.. i wont write it in this blog though. then again, dont think i have the mood to type it down, coz i'd be repeating myself.
funny thing though, loneliness use to be my main trouble here, but it disappeared, maybe coz of dance frenz and CS frenz, just got used to it.....
1 Comments:
At 2:11 AM ,
mAjEzTiX said...
Poor girl.. i'm oso thinkin am i destined to live with a life of misery.. well, sometimes i think we need comparsions to find ourselves lucky..
i;m sick of studyin as well.. really cant imagine wat i;m gonna study next sem.. aRGGH~~~ so sossosoo SAd... and it's like only one yr...
anewa, as long as we believe we can do it.. WE CAN! jia you..
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home