me?? a flare committee mem?

today i had dance.. and i think i said the stupidest thing without thinking much.. you know jane, the "biggest" post of flare.. actually said to me that she'll vote for me on voting night???!! i know i want the post, but i'm scared i wont be able to handle it.. so i laughed, then said thanks.. then said that i'll vote for jeremin coz she's very on. but jane said " you also very on" then i just laughed again.. i felt that i should have said more than just laughed.. somehow...

vet place in werribee

i went to the vet precinct today.. i had to take a train, that cost me $12.80. so expensive right? it's just so unfair to international student!

anyway, we were almost lost when we found the place.. it smelt pf animal dung as expected.. but it was nice and green.. then this man, called andrew, took us around the place. he's just a nice guy!

i only found out recently that he's some big shot in vet school.. whao!!

anyway, we went early int he morning at 9, then finish tourinf this place by noon, had subway for lunch (hmmm..) then went to richmond to make our trian tix worth.. ahhahaha

i bought a calendar with horses on it!!

Fed Up with the seniors!

hey people... have you ever been in charge of something that you feel so pressurised to manage it well, but somehow, some irritating seniors are always screwing up your efforts? yeah, that's exactly how i feel right now..

i took the trouble to e-mail them (members of the dance) everyweek to tell them when to meet and what we will do for the costume making thingy (i'm in in charge of it for my dance). but somehow, everyweek, no one turns up at all!!!! except for a few juniors,(my frens).

alright, you dont turn up coz you say that you are busy.. fine.. i understand, coz they are SENIORS, they have ALOT of things to do.. fine.. okie, whatever!

but, now, i purposely arranged a day during the holidays, and even booked a room so that we can all meet and stuff, and,,. again, no one bloody turns up!!!!! i mean, what's wrong with these people, in the mails, i told them that it's okie if you cannot come, but that doesn't mean you dont make an effort to come at all!

i didn't said that it was compulsory to come in the e-mail, but i was expecting these people to be responsible enough and smart enough, with enough common sense to turn up and make the costumes! they're busy? then what do you think i am?! not busy??? who wants to come to school during the holidays to sew costumes?? not me, not you, not anyone! but it's just a need coz of the dance..

damn they are giving me lots of problems! the cheographer is gonna be disappointed in me man... damn!

haha, okie.. thanks for listening to me complain,,, see yah

sadz

people.. i've just realise something..

i dont have a lot of company in Melbourne..

my frens here do spend time with me, which is super fun and cool, but when they retreat to other frens once in a while, i go into a state of depression..

i just become so so so so so sad.. i feel as though the world has turned it's back on me, that i am so alone in this world.. i cry, i stone around, i sit on the toilet bowl staring at the wall, or just do my homework to keep me busy..

maybe that's why i look forward to clubbing so much. coz it makes me feel as though there's a life in my life! i have fun, though it's not very healthy, but at least i dont do it so often... unfortunately, i can't always go. coz of various reasons, homework, no one to go with, no cool people going and stuff..

come to think of it, maybe i should find some other forms of entertainment. but what? the TV is my regular entertainer but it's "loserific" to saty at home and watch TV all day..(come to think of it.. i always do that...)

lucky for me i have my dance club.. though i am not a very very active member yet.. i wanna be one.. i love dancing, not the clubbing one (but i dont hate it) just yaterday, sunday night, i was invited to this potluck party at jeremin's house...

it was so fun.. i never had so much fun, besides with my usual frens here before.. it's cool right.... they made me feel part of their group, even though i wasn't int he dance the host cheographed. i felt so accepted and happy... we played games, we ate, and of course, we watched a DVD "you've been served" it's a show about dancing.. so cool man.. i went there at 6+ and came home at 12+. very cool.. =)

looks like i have to be happier in my life. i try not to feel sad and lonely sometimes.. but i just do.. wish i had my family here with me..

A new "transition"?

it had only occured to me recently that i have entered another transition stage. i've been trying to explain this to my frens here in auz but i don't think i did a good job.. well, here it goes again..

you know how, suddenly at a certain age, you look back at what you done for the pass few years and you think... what the hell was i thinking? you just suddenly realise a lot of things, and almost everything that was puzzling to you became clear.. you know what i mean? i call this a transition stage (sounds so chemistry,.. hahahaha) you can say that i've suddenly matured alot.. but it's more than just becoming matured, it's a whole lot more than that. well, that has happened to me again for the consiously, 2nd time in my life.

the first time i had this "awakening" was in sec 3. you know how teens change from primary school kid to secondary school kid? and they know what they want, they dress more hip, they are more cool, they take note of the social norms of a acceptable teen? yeah, i only entered that transition in sec 3!!! i have always been a late bloomer and i was behind my frens for 2 years! in sec 3, i suddenly realised that i was in secondary school, that i was a teen, that i was suppose to have fun, but study at the same time. then it came to me suddenly again why i was so unhappy, so unsocialble in sec 1 and 2.. coz i was a primary school kid in a teen school.. and of course, those of you who know the story, i was the ultimate nerd.. of course i completely changed in sec3... like 180 degrees changed.. haha

then, i was stagnent in this stage for 4 years! from sec3 to JC2... all i knew in this stage was to have fun and study really hard for my grades. i knew i wanted to get into a good uni, i knew what i wanted as a teenager, but there were a few things that i never understood, like, why cassandra (sorrie cass to use your name.. hee) always had to go back to indo as soon as the exams ended. (now i know why.. duh.. she wants to spent time with her family) and why my parents stinge on themselves when i know they can afford to buy more expensove, better, cooler stuff. i didn't understand why my stepmother had to always go back to KL to be with my father when my family here, esp my brother, needs her.. but of course now i know why..

it's just that evreything seems so clear suddenly. i also reflected upon the times when i was so mean to people.. like how i scolded my classmates for not doing the duty roaster. i mean,, i could have just asked nicely and question first before jumpping to conclusions. i also remembered the time i asked my fren diana to give me her post for one year and she'll do the next coz i wanted to get an A for my CCA records.. man,, that was ultimate! i couldn't believe that actaully came out of my mouth. of course she didn't agree... and i'm glad she didn't.. i would have been labelled a bitch for good.. there waas also thie other time, that i got so fed of andi complaining to me how he find it difficult to cope living alone, and all i told him was to organise himself.. i was so darn mean.

i guess you all are getting bored reading. hhaha, it sounds chim, but it's really quite simple. i have so many many more examples that i simply cannot think of right now..(coz i'm hungry and i can;t wait for lunch haha) basically, my trip here to aus to study has really changed me. i know more about life, i know more about how to live as well. i've learned to appreciate my frens and family more than ever, not to mention the value of money... haha

it's difficult to describe, but i hope you guys had a general idea of what i'm trying to say. toodles!

Grampions!!!

yeah.. last weekend, i went to the grampions with my frens. it was a 2 day, one night tour. my apartment, the YMCA were the organisers. it was so tiring!! my legs could have broke!

grampions is a place somewhere in melbourne.. it like some part of the country high up on a few mountains. we woke up at 6 in the morning to prepare and board the bus at 7.10am. it was so darn early and i stayed up late the night before to finish up my weekend homework. but at least we could sleep on the bus.

we packed our bags the night before. we were gonna staying over at some cabin, in which there were no blankets and pillows and so we were advised to bring them on our own... but my freiends and i didn't want to carry heavy stuff.. so we brought bedsheets instead, and intended to wear thicker clothing to sleep.

first we went to the winery. it's the best place man, coz compared to the other places, in which you will read later, i didn't have to risk my life hiking over dangerous rocks and mountains. and we were offered to taste 8 different wines in total! yum!! there were 4 bitter wines and 4 sweet wines.. they were so good!!!! i tried 6 wines in total i think. all 4 sweet ones and 2 bitter ones.. i love the botrytis reisling dessert wine the most! it was tellow in colour and it was the sweetest, yet strong wine! i felt quite hight there,.. ahhahahahahhahaha

then we went to our cabins! it was so nice!!! imagine a clear land in the middle of a coniferous forest, the grass was so green and bright! and there were wild kangeroos all over the place! not to mention kangeroo poo!!! it was great! the cabin was so like a cavervan! they had a kitchen, 2 double deck beds and a double bed, with a dinning area and a toilet. it was so small but surprising comfortable! so cool right? and just outside our windows were grren grren grass with the kangeroos!

after we out down our things, we went to this aboriginal cultural centre and watched a lame movie about the aboriginies' explaination of the formation of the mountains in the grampions.. it all started out with this large evil emu.. hahaahah and how he kicked some rocks open to form valleys and stuf.. very lame.. but nontheless interesting! ahhaha

then we went to the Mckenzie falls.. it was so easy climbing down the hundreds of stairs to reach the waterfall but when it was time to climb up.. wow.. my legs could have broke!!! however, despite the pain, (and the bordem for my case) my frens and i took many pictures, not so much for me but yeah.. we did take pictures. the water was unusually yellow though.. the movie we watched just now said that the emu was bleeding and left a trail of blood which became this river... shouldn't the river be red then? ahhaha i'm talking nonsense..

next, we went to the balconies, just this place where you get a fantastic view of the mountains... very nice, but i was a litlle bored.. hahha as always.. you know, i'm not cut out for hiking and sight seeing, just wanna enjoy the company of my frens, play games and take pictures with them. but the whole group was so fast at climding and all that, they weren't interested to stop and take pictures! my frens and i always ended up holding thew group behind. ahhah, but who cares! we paid for this trip you know! =p

then it was back tot he cabins, sherleen's fren, yee koon brought over speakers so we played our music very loud in the cabin, as though we could have a own club inside! hahhahah then we had BBQ for dinner. we saw a red fox while eating. and there was this greedy dog that belonged tot he owner of the cabins.. hahah.. he kept walking around for food!

then the fun and games began... 1st we played heart attack., then truth of dare, in which i was sabotaged to do really silly stuff.. hahah shall not elaborate further. thern we played this game where you have to act out words.. we were slpit into 2 gps and the other gp gave us so hard words to act out! like courage the cowardly dog, johnny english etc etc.. ahhaha, very lame. then we slept... i felt so cold, but gald that i brought at elats the bedsheet.

the next day was hell for me! we went to 2 destinations in which we only joined 1 of them. coz we climbed this mountain that was so scary!!! i swear! i could have fallen to my death! it was so silly of me to waer my roxy shoes that didn't have much friction! i had another addidas shoes i left in my house, i didn't want to wear it coz i knew it would get dirty.

the communication was pretty bad within the group.. the people in fron tof us were interested in taking pictures or stopping to view and relax, they just wanted to hike hike hike and it was so boring for me, not to mention tiring! we lost the gp on our way up and took a wrong turn, so we had a more difficult course,, hhahhaha but luckily we still reached the top and met the rest of the gp there. then.. sigh.. the climbing down part... more scary! i slipped so many times i lost count! it was definitely more than 10 though. maybe even 20! my gp got split up when we were going down coz we didn't want to lose the group like when we climbed up. so we acted at the "middle" people. wow.. my legs were so shaky, and it was raining! my frens and i were all wet.. coz my jacket was kinda water proof, but it was difficult keeping the cap on when you climb!

the last destination, we were too tired to move out of the bus. my frens and a few others stayed in the bus and slept.. we wanted to go, but we looked outside at the trees swaying so hard coz of the strong wind, we decided not to go. it was as if the trees were yelling "help!!!!!!!!!" they were swaying so hard in the wind! then after a few hrs journey, we went to macdonalds' for a free meal!!(in which we pre-paid for lah) then reached home only at 6pm pn sunday.. tiring but fun!