A new "transition"?
it had only occured to me recently that i have entered another transition stage. i've been trying to explain this to my frens here in auz but i don't think i did a good job.. well, here it goes again..
you know how, suddenly at a certain age, you look back at what you done for the pass few years and you think... what the hell was i thinking? you just suddenly realise a lot of things, and almost everything that was puzzling to you became clear.. you know what i mean? i call this a transition stage (sounds so chemistry,.. hahahaha) you can say that i've suddenly matured alot.. but it's more than just becoming matured, it's a whole lot more than that. well, that has happened to me again for the consiously, 2nd time in my life.
the first time i had this "awakening" was in sec 3. you know how teens change from primary school kid to secondary school kid? and they know what they want, they dress more hip, they are more cool, they take note of the social norms of a acceptable teen? yeah, i only entered that transition in sec 3!!! i have always been a late bloomer and i was behind my frens for 2 years! in sec 3, i suddenly realised that i was in secondary school, that i was a teen, that i was suppose to have fun, but study at the same time. then it came to me suddenly again why i was so unhappy, so unsocialble in sec 1 and 2.. coz i was a primary school kid in a teen school.. and of course, those of you who know the story, i was the ultimate nerd.. of course i completely changed in sec3... like 180 degrees changed.. haha
then, i was stagnent in this stage for 4 years! from sec3 to JC2... all i knew in this stage was to have fun and study really hard for my grades. i knew i wanted to get into a good uni, i knew what i wanted as a teenager, but there were a few things that i never understood, like, why cassandra (sorrie cass to use your name.. hee) always had to go back to indo as soon as the exams ended. (now i know why.. duh.. she wants to spent time with her family) and why my parents stinge on themselves when i know they can afford to buy more expensove, better, cooler stuff. i didn't understand why my stepmother had to always go back to KL to be with my father when my family here, esp my brother, needs her.. but of course now i know why..
it's just that evreything seems so clear suddenly. i also reflected upon the times when i was so mean to people.. like how i scolded my classmates for not doing the duty roaster. i mean,, i could have just asked nicely and question first before jumpping to conclusions. i also remembered the time i asked my fren diana to give me her post for one year and she'll do the next coz i wanted to get an A for my CCA records.. man,, that was ultimate! i couldn't believe that actaully came out of my mouth. of course she didn't agree... and i'm glad she didn't.. i would have been labelled a bitch for good.. there waas also thie other time, that i got so fed of andi complaining to me how he find it difficult to cope living alone, and all i told him was to organise himself.. i was so darn mean.
i guess you all are getting bored reading. hhaha, it sounds chim, but it's really quite simple. i have so many many more examples that i simply cannot think of right now..(coz i'm hungry and i can;t wait for lunch haha) basically, my trip here to aus to study has really changed me. i know more about life, i know more about how to live as well. i've learned to appreciate my frens and family more than ever, not to mention the value of money... haha
it's difficult to describe, but i hope you guys had a general idea of what i'm trying to say. toodles!
you know how, suddenly at a certain age, you look back at what you done for the pass few years and you think... what the hell was i thinking? you just suddenly realise a lot of things, and almost everything that was puzzling to you became clear.. you know what i mean? i call this a transition stage (sounds so chemistry,.. hahahaha) you can say that i've suddenly matured alot.. but it's more than just becoming matured, it's a whole lot more than that. well, that has happened to me again for the consiously, 2nd time in my life.
the first time i had this "awakening" was in sec 3. you know how teens change from primary school kid to secondary school kid? and they know what they want, they dress more hip, they are more cool, they take note of the social norms of a acceptable teen? yeah, i only entered that transition in sec 3!!! i have always been a late bloomer and i was behind my frens for 2 years! in sec 3, i suddenly realised that i was in secondary school, that i was a teen, that i was suppose to have fun, but study at the same time. then it came to me suddenly again why i was so unhappy, so unsocialble in sec 1 and 2.. coz i was a primary school kid in a teen school.. and of course, those of you who know the story, i was the ultimate nerd.. of course i completely changed in sec3... like 180 degrees changed.. haha
then, i was stagnent in this stage for 4 years! from sec3 to JC2... all i knew in this stage was to have fun and study really hard for my grades. i knew i wanted to get into a good uni, i knew what i wanted as a teenager, but there were a few things that i never understood, like, why cassandra (sorrie cass to use your name.. hee) always had to go back to indo as soon as the exams ended. (now i know why.. duh.. she wants to spent time with her family) and why my parents stinge on themselves when i know they can afford to buy more expensove, better, cooler stuff. i didn't understand why my stepmother had to always go back to KL to be with my father when my family here, esp my brother, needs her.. but of course now i know why..
it's just that evreything seems so clear suddenly. i also reflected upon the times when i was so mean to people.. like how i scolded my classmates for not doing the duty roaster. i mean,, i could have just asked nicely and question first before jumpping to conclusions. i also remembered the time i asked my fren diana to give me her post for one year and she'll do the next coz i wanted to get an A for my CCA records.. man,, that was ultimate! i couldn't believe that actaully came out of my mouth. of course she didn't agree... and i'm glad she didn't.. i would have been labelled a bitch for good.. there waas also thie other time, that i got so fed of andi complaining to me how he find it difficult to cope living alone, and all i told him was to organise himself.. i was so darn mean.
i guess you all are getting bored reading. hhaha, it sounds chim, but it's really quite simple. i have so many many more examples that i simply cannot think of right now..(coz i'm hungry and i can;t wait for lunch haha) basically, my trip here to aus to study has really changed me. i know more about life, i know more about how to live as well. i've learned to appreciate my frens and family more than ever, not to mention the value of money... haha
it's difficult to describe, but i hope you guys had a general idea of what i'm trying to say. toodles!
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