grumpy ning...

i'm just feeling sooooo grumpy today... just now at the make up session, i know i had that "what the F do u want " face.. haha i'm just not in the right mood.. coz so many things happened recently, and so many worries just started pilling on my back...

1st worry my dance... my goodness, on practise this thursday, not a lot of ppl turned up.. i was so disappionted and angry and frustrated, and worried of course.. but most of all, i started scolding myself... i thought, why did i even think about choreographing.. it's such hard work.. it's such a hobby thing, i cannot force my dancers to not come when they dont want to... i'm begining to dread every single dance practise for my item... there is just too much stress involved. i won't deny that this is good experience, but going thru it, like now, is just agony!!

i really really hope everything turns out fine in the end...

then next... my family... as mentioned..

then next, my moving hosue thing.. i wanna move out of CS, i wanna experience life outside student accommodations... but i have to convince my parents and my aunt and cousin first..

then next, is my studies of course.. i'm always worried for it.. my worrying for it never ends, and i think it shouldn't, it's the onli way that i can motivate myself to study..

sigh....... about dance... i just feel that ppl are getting sick of it. i'm also a little sick of it already. but i cannot wait for my performance and get it over and done.. sometimes i feel disrespected, as in. i feel that some dancers take my kindness for granted and not turn up whenever they dont want to. it really worries me so much.. especially when these pppl are the ones who dont really know their steps... production is just 3 weeks away... so so so so worried..

sometimes, i also feel disrespected coz i see almost full or full attendence in other dances btu not in mine, and it's alwasy the same few ppl... seriously, if they didn't like my dance, they should have just quitted long before i did all the blocking and such...

i guess some ppl are just not ready for committment.. they just wanna play, and are not very responsible ppl... then when they suddenly feel that they havent studied alot, they start studying at the most inappropriate of times.. like during make up workshops and such..

well i guess u guys dont know what the hell i;m taking about.. coz i'm feeling a little scatter brained today.. forgive me.