sick..

yeaah.. my busy sechdule got the better of me...

i knew i would fall sick.. it was just a matter of time... my terribly packed 9-5 sch time table, toegther with dance for 6 hours/week for the past few weeks, plus staying up late just to study.... also, i didn't eat healthy food, always snacking and not eating proper meals...

i'd be superwoman to not fall ill..

sigh... at least this illness allows me to rest a little more.. but i dont wanna turn up at ICSS ball snuffed up in the nose..... so i hope i get well soon..


now that i'm ill, i've slowed down my pace in everyday life, and looked at the big picture..

i wondered to myself.. why was i working so hard for dance for? shouldn't i study harder instead? i mean, isn't studying VET, is the one and onli reason why i am here in the first place.. i mean, yeah dance is my hobby and i LOVE dancing but shouldn't i put in more effort in my studies than my dance? shouldn't i put studying as my 1st priority??

all in all.. i've dedicated myself.. more than 12 hours sewing for other costumes that i'm not even in charge of.. i mean.. yeah, i am the costume mistress.. i am suppose to HELP organise everything associated with costumes like keeping them, stock taking, organise sewing sessions, and help around.. but...when i organised mass sewing sessions.. people came, but most of the people doing the majority of the work , are doing work not associated with their own dance! i didn't want dancers to feel that they have been made use of, so me and joyce(my partner for costume incharge) decided to let the choreogarphers organise their own sewing sessions and book the sewing machine from me. i would gladly help them book the multipurpose room in collge square and teach them how to operate the machine first, but i am not willing to do their work.. coz i dont wanna be made use of!

last sat, there was an organisation for "spirit"'s costume making.. i mean, i understand that people cannot come coz they have to study, but at least make ONE attempt can a not??? even if it was for one hour! in the end, onli 4 or so ppl turned up and when i went down to take a look and see if i could help out, to my shock they haven even started sewing yet! when i asked why,.. they said they didn't know, when i asked is it becoz they dont know how to operate the sewing machine? they said maybe... but the sewing machine isn't out of the box yet! there wasn't even an attempt to sew.... my goodness......

k, enough about dance....

i also realise that my hectic schedule has also made me a less.... tolerant person. i am less friendly, coz i feel that i'm just too tired to make that effort to befriend someone new. even sending an e-mail, or chating to an old fren online is "too much" work for me coz i keep thinking that if i dont chat to ppl, i can study more.... well it is kinda true anyway...

alright.. i've made up my mind..

i shall put my studies first.. always always always.. unless absolutely necessary.. i also want to catch up with all my old frenz.. in singapore, in CS, in vet.. etc etc... and take good care of my health... i want to cook for often for my CS frenz, make more cookies for them, study harder and smarter, then wehn exams are over, play harder..

however, i wont neglect my dance totally too.. they are my 3rd priority.. (2nd is frens..) i love dance, and i will never give it up.. i just have to organise my time properly and stick to it!

another problem i find of myself.. not related to my recent hectic schedule, is that i'm easily persuaded by ppl to do things i'm not keen in... if i say "no" or "donnoe" at first, and someone keeps telling me about this and that to pull me to one side/.. i will eventually go there..

so.. i also decided that i'll be more stubborn, in the sense that i will have a mind of my own, and next time not let ppl take advantage of me anymore!

chaozzzzzzzzzzz