what if?

vet is so freaking hard.. i'm siting in my com lab now just thinking of what'a to come.. so many assignments due, so many exams and so many tests. what was i thinking when i wanted to study this course?

i hate the fact that all of us must work our asses off to pass simple tests. i hate to feel worried and stress all the time about my studies. everyone in the vet faculty is freaking smart, and i'm the hard working onw. well it seems like i'm not hardworking enough. i failed my first test on friday. i didn't expect to pass coz i ddn't study very well coz i was sick.

sometimes, i hate to hear ppl complain about their work when i have freaking so much more. i have no idea how the hell i'm going to catch up with my work when i have so many assignments to hand up. dont the lecturers feel for us? that we have too much work we can ahndle already? but i hate even more to hear ppl from my vet course complain that they are worried when i'm the one who's really in deep shit. like they know, and i know, that they never fail, they study damn hard and smart, and i;'m the sick one, who has no time to study and not as smart as them.

i worked my ass off to get to this stupid vet course when i was in singapore. now i''m thinking what happens if i fail? my parents will be bloddy disappointed and i wont get mercy from my grandma and stepmom coz they expect alot from me. what if i retain and waste money again??? what if...