better late then never
I had a very good talk with some of my vet frenz today. and, suddenly i feel so much bettter.
it's okie to admit that we may not be smart enough to get through this vet course. we ARE competeting with the top top top of australian students. It's okie to realise that you dont suit this course. better now then later.
One or two of my very good vet frenz are actually thinking of switching courses. i know, it's been 3 years, why not continue. but no one knows how HARD this vet course is. It's like a crash course of all the animals in the world in 4 years. (medicine is 1 species, 6 years)
as much as i'm sad that she's leaving, i must be happy for her. Better now then later. better 3 years than 5 years later then realise this really isn't for you. i respect her for the fact that she is brave enough to make this decision, especially at this point of the course, when she's already halfway through.
the only thing that worries her, and us if we were thinking of quiting, is the fact that we have to break this news to our parents. and asian parents aren't the type to take it easy. there are so many students doing courses they dont want to do coz their parents forced them too. what pride is there if your child is a Dr but is unhappy about it then quites her job right after she graduates? or better still, halfway through her course? WIll this whole pride thing even get out of the asian mentality?
as i listened to her talk about why she wants to leave, i tried to think about reasons for me to stay. i undoubtly thought of leaving a million times and have come up with a million reasons. i wanna dance, i'm not smart enough, i can't take the pressure etc etc. Like, my heart has not stop palpitating for the last week. and it will continue to do so for the next week. I think of a million reasons to stay because i really want to. i just cannot think of any other course that i might want to do other than vet. (perhaps the other option would be fashion or interior desigining that these are tough courses as well and like, what the fuck am i doing here if i were to switch course for these now? it can be done back in singapore!) I could switch to med and be a human doctor. i'll definately graduate. that's for sure. i'm not looking own at any med ppl that your course is definitely MUCH easier than vet course. But i'll be a half-hearted doctor. I can heal the human patient, but there is no sincerity in my service.
Part of the reason why i keep myself here in vet is because of my pride. Plus the fact that i have a strong female pride, it makes it worst. I'm not proud to say that i keep myself here because i'm afriad letting ppl know that i couldnt make it in the vet course. (that's why i admire my fren's bravory) I'm also not proud to say that i keep myself here because i like the name DR in front of my surname. most of all, I always tell myself that i'm not as easy quitter, even if it makes me bleed.
but i think that's just a part of the reason why i'm here. I thought it through, and i really actually want to be a good vet. perhaps even a surgeon. However, i have to face the facts that if i continue on like this, i will graduate a mediocre vet. "i work so hard and study so hard!!" yeah right ning! only on the night before exams! when i was in secondary sch and JC, when i really wanted to get my top marks (all A s) i worked my ass off every single day. there wasn't a second when i thought, 'hmm, what's on tv today' or 'what should i cook for dinner tmr' or 'maybe i'll go shopping after my first exam, i deserve a break'. i was steady and consistant and persistant.
This is a big wake up call. for all the times i sat in front of computer after i've rushed home to 'study', i checked e-mails then read through my notes with half my brain asleep.
This is vet ning, it's no longer elementary. By the looks of your pride and cowardness to quit, this is your only path out now. i have to start being serious. This seriousness does not mean more time studying, it means more enhanced studying when you are studying.
I dont want to be a mediocre vet, i want to be a good one, so good clinics BEG me to work for them. some things have to change ning, and you'd BETTER...
it's okie to admit that we may not be smart enough to get through this vet course. we ARE competeting with the top top top of australian students. It's okie to realise that you dont suit this course. better now then later.
One or two of my very good vet frenz are actually thinking of switching courses. i know, it's been 3 years, why not continue. but no one knows how HARD this vet course is. It's like a crash course of all the animals in the world in 4 years. (medicine is 1 species, 6 years)
as much as i'm sad that she's leaving, i must be happy for her. Better now then later. better 3 years than 5 years later then realise this really isn't for you. i respect her for the fact that she is brave enough to make this decision, especially at this point of the course, when she's already halfway through.
the only thing that worries her, and us if we were thinking of quiting, is the fact that we have to break this news to our parents. and asian parents aren't the type to take it easy. there are so many students doing courses they dont want to do coz their parents forced them too. what pride is there if your child is a Dr but is unhappy about it then quites her job right after she graduates? or better still, halfway through her course? WIll this whole pride thing even get out of the asian mentality?
as i listened to her talk about why she wants to leave, i tried to think about reasons for me to stay. i undoubtly thought of leaving a million times and have come up with a million reasons. i wanna dance, i'm not smart enough, i can't take the pressure etc etc. Like, my heart has not stop palpitating for the last week. and it will continue to do so for the next week. I think of a million reasons to stay because i really want to. i just cannot think of any other course that i might want to do other than vet. (perhaps the other option would be fashion or interior desigining that these are tough courses as well and like, what the fuck am i doing here if i were to switch course for these now? it can be done back in singapore!) I could switch to med and be a human doctor. i'll definately graduate. that's for sure. i'm not looking own at any med ppl that your course is definitely MUCH easier than vet course. But i'll be a half-hearted doctor. I can heal the human patient, but there is no sincerity in my service.
Part of the reason why i keep myself here in vet is because of my pride. Plus the fact that i have a strong female pride, it makes it worst. I'm not proud to say that i keep myself here because i'm afriad letting ppl know that i couldnt make it in the vet course. (that's why i admire my fren's bravory) I'm also not proud to say that i keep myself here because i like the name DR in front of my surname. most of all, I always tell myself that i'm not as easy quitter, even if it makes me bleed.
but i think that's just a part of the reason why i'm here. I thought it through, and i really actually want to be a good vet. perhaps even a surgeon. However, i have to face the facts that if i continue on like this, i will graduate a mediocre vet. "i work so hard and study so hard!!" yeah right ning! only on the night before exams! when i was in secondary sch and JC, when i really wanted to get my top marks (all A s) i worked my ass off every single day. there wasn't a second when i thought, 'hmm, what's on tv today' or 'what should i cook for dinner tmr' or 'maybe i'll go shopping after my first exam, i deserve a break'. i was steady and consistant and persistant.
This is a big wake up call. for all the times i sat in front of computer after i've rushed home to 'study', i checked e-mails then read through my notes with half my brain asleep.
This is vet ning, it's no longer elementary. By the looks of your pride and cowardness to quit, this is your only path out now. i have to start being serious. This seriousness does not mean more time studying, it means more enhanced studying when you are studying.
I dont want to be a mediocre vet, i want to be a good one, so good clinics BEG me to work for them. some things have to change ning, and you'd BETTER...
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home